Home > My Life Without > My Life Without: Night 1 continued

My Life Without: Night 1 continued

15 minutes after that journal entry my world changed. I actually haven’t written in that journal since that night. Things have been crazy. Remember those goals? They were all tossed out the window after this night.

After sleeping for a matter on minutes on that ledge, I realized that even on a warm day in winter, it is still really, really cold outside. Too cold to sleep. I got off the ledge and realized I’d have to find a different spot, the cement was too cold. I wandered around for a long time looking for places that seemed a little warmer. There weren’t any. I looked for open doors into skyways or parking ramps – ones without the no trespassing signs and security cameras. I didn’t find any. I wandered to different parts of the city. At one point I found a dumpster with some cardboard in it that I grabbed, then I went and urinated under a bridge and tried to sleep on the cardboard. In minutes I was freezing. I got up, walked across the bridge again, back to my ledge (it was familiar) laid the cardboard there and tried to sleep. It didn’t work. At this point, I’m incredibly frustrated. I already hadn’t slept in 36 hours. I was cold. My body was sore from before going into this trip. I had been walking around in these boots that are incredibly warm, but one thing they weren’t made for, is walking. Not on sidewalks, not on you. My feet hurt really bad. Anyway, my situation sucks terribly. I’ve already been walking for hours and hours and I just want to sit down and rest. But I can’t. Not for more than a few minutes. It’s too cold. I have to keep moving. And it’s only 1:00 AM. Already the longest night of my life, and I have hours before I get to see the sun again.

My story about that night continues in the same vein. Through the night I continued to look for places to sleep and continued to be colder, more tired, and my body hurt worse all over. I ran into a guy at 2:30 AM who told me where some shelters were, but I suck at finding them. Saw one shelter, Sharing and Caring Hands, but they said they would prosecute anyone on their grounds after hours. So I left. I was unbelievably tired. I think the combination of lacking sleep, walking around so much, and the cold really got to me. I pretty much was hallucinating. Sometimes I would sit down in the bus stop (FYI – even the ones with warmers aren’t that warm) sleep for 10 seconds, wake up and think my dream was my reality. One time I couldn’t have barely closed my eyes, but I woke up and had no idea where I was or why I was there, but I was sure someone stole my backpack. Then I found it, on my back. I couldn’t walk in a straight line. One time I almost looked up to talk to Chris Schasse, who I was pretty positive was sitting right next to me. I even thought I bumped into someone once, but there was no one there. It was nuts. I couldn’t think straight. I knew I needed to keep walking, stay warm, and I’d figure it out.

The night ended when finally, after finding the Minneapolis central library closed on Mondays (ridiculous!), I made my way to the community college library and fell asleep on their small couch, dirty and sweaty, and tired, at 9:45 AM. I would guess that I walked for approximately 12 hours altogether that afternoon and night. At 3-4 mph that’s about 40 miles total – on no sleep, in the cold, with heavy boots, clothing, and backpack. I’m not saying that to be impressive, but to try to convey how ridiculously difficult it was. On to day 1.

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