Home > Miscellaneous > Just Got My Computer Up…

Just Got My Computer Up…

Have had my computer down for a month or so. Sad, sad days. Finally got it back up and running. I miss writing. I’ve had a ton of stuff I’ve wanted to blog about at different times but haven’t been able to get to when it is fresh on my mind. Some of it has been happy. Some insightful. Some thought provoking and some revealing. Maybe it would have been good. Maybe I’ll still get to it.

Today, something different. I did some journaling about stuff going on inside of me. About how I feel. About my desires and longings and hopes and how I’ve responded to so many things. It’s embarrassing. I’m not sharing any of it with you readers. Really, I’m super ashamed of it. I’m far more embarrassed about shameful feelings and allowing myself to be a shitty rag doll than I am about the deepest sins. I’ve had. I’ve actually become quite at telling people about the sin of my heart that used to be difficult for me to express. It’s actually amazing to me that my emotions are more painful to me and scarier to share than my sin. Even I am frightened by them because they make me feel so small, used, inhuman. You know why they’re so hard for me to share? Same reason as a lot of things… so much of my life comes back to this… It’s that nasty devil pride again. I’m scared of things that are the most damaging to it. Although, let me be clear, it’s not just my pride that is damaged, it’s the core of my soul and the depths of my heart as well.

Expect frequent updates as long as this POS stays up and running.

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Categories: Miscellaneous
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