Home > Family Disruption > God Wouldn’t Plan Something Like This

God Wouldn’t Plan Something Like This

In case you haven’t been keeping up with the story, a few months ago my father had an affair and then abandoned his wife and kids. It’s been pretty brutal. It has been painful and sad and frustrating and confusing. The whole situation feels pretty evil. In my experiencing of this, I’ve had a lot of unanswered questions.

In a circumstance like mine it is common for people to blame God for what happened or ask questions such as, “Why God? Why did you do this? Why did you let this happen?” I think the urge to either blame God or to wonder to God about why he would allow something to occur as if God is responsible come from a misunderstanding about God.

Some people view God as a cosmic Lego Master and us as the lego men and women. God constructs the world that we live in and controls everything that happens within it. Nothing can happen without His willing it to happen. Humans are the lifeless lego guys, who cannot so much as move an arm without God desiring the arm to move and acting to make it move. God is the Lego Master who decides exactly the way the world will be and exactly what he wants his toys to do, they have no real volition of their own.

If this is the case, then God really is to blame for my father’s affair and abandonment. In the God as Lego Master scenario, my father’s affair was all a part of God’s cosmic plan. My pain then becomes just an execution of God’s will. If God is actively controlling everything, then it makes perfect sense for me to blame Him. It is His fault.

Another understanding of God that is different on the surface but similar in practice. This understanding of God assumes 3 things: 1. God created everything. 2. Before God created everything, He knew the future. 3. The future already exists as a set of inevitabilities that just haven’t happened yet. In this scenario, God is not actively controlling His lego set to make sure His cosmic plan is executed perfectly, but God creates the world knowing all of the inevitabilities of the future and thus sets into motion His cosmic plan without having to actively control it because everything that occurs was inevitable anyway.

With these assumptions, God is more like a watcher of a movie he has already seen and memorized. God’s creation of the world is like He picked out a movie he knew by heart and pushed play. The movie was already recorded before God put it in, and so God was the ultimate cause of everything that occurred on the screen because God picked that particular movie. God could have picked out a different prerecorded film and watched that film and so caused a different set of scenes to play out on screen.

In the same way, when God created the earth in the way He did, knowing what the prerecorded future was, He becomes the ultimate cause of everything that occurred. He chose to create the earth in such a way as to cause this set of circumstances to occur. Of course God could have created the earth differently so that a different set of circumstances would occur. Because God chose ahead of time exactly what would occur from the beginning to the end, God is responsible for everything that occurs.

If this is true about God, if God knew ahead of time that making the world the way He chose to would inevitably lead to my father’s affair and abandonment, then God is still to blame. Even if God isn’t actively controlling the actions of my father, God is still the cause. He could have created the world differently so that my Father didn’t have an affair. He didn’t. He chose to create things in such a way that my father’s actions were going to happen. In this scenario, it was God’s will and desire that my father would do what he did because that’s what God chose for him to do. The decisions my father made were just inevitabilities caused by God since the creation of the world

But God is not like this. God wouldn’t orchestrate the world in such a way so that my father has an affair. God would never want something like that to occur. God wouldn’t will something like that to occur. God’s didn’t plan for my father to abandon his wife and kids. A God who, through whatever means, would cause my father to treat his family the way he did is not a good God.

But He is a good God. When God created the world, He did not create a bunch of lego guys for whom he would control their every action and movement. He did not create a world where He chose ahead of time for humanity what their every action and movement would be. God created a world of choice. Immediately after God created humanity He set before them choices to make. He gave them choices where there was no moral component, where there was no right vs. wrong, like, “you decide what to name the animals.” God also gave them moral choices like, “don’t eat from this tree.”

God gave humanity choices. He gave people the ability to accept Him, trust Him, be in relationship with Him, and follow Him. He even gave people the ability to reject him. Why would God give people the choice to accept Him or to reject Him? Because God is love and love cannot be coerced. If God has already determined what we will and won’t do, then we can’t love because our entire lives are just a series of inevitabilities that God forced us to do. Love cannot be forced. Love is only possible if it is voluntary. God created a world of love, and thereby, a world where people have the ability choose. By creating a world of free beings who can make a multitude of different choices, God made a world of possibilities.

One of these possibilities was that my father would have an affair and abandon his children, his friends, and his life. One of these possibilities is that my father would have humbled himself before God, taken every thought captive, and submitted even his most minor lustful thought underneath the reign of Jesus and in so doing, would never have even considered engaging in the behavior he did. The former is what he chose, but he could have chosen the latter. God is responsible for creating a world of choice where love is possible, but Mitch is responsible for rejecting God and choosing selfishness over love. God is not to blame for my situation, my father is.

Of course God wasn’t caught off guard by the choices of my father. God never wanted him to make those decisions, but God knows all the possible decisions he could have made. God would never plan for Mitch to do what he did, but God does have a plan to bring good out of what my father did. God knows all the possibilities and He is equally prepared to bring good out of all of them. God is not to blame. God is the one to cling to when things don’t go the way we wanted them to or the way He wanted them to. God is not the one to blame. God, with us, also wishes this never happened.

Categories: Family Disruption Tags: ,
  1. Anonymous
    January 13, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about this, and my prayers are with you and your family. I wholeheartedly agree that God did not plan this.

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